It’s strange to see how my life is playing out. These nights of fun and questioning will come to their own ends. How do I grow up and still feel like myself when I have changed so much and never thought enough about where I wanted to be at this point in my life?

It’s a rainy winter in California this year, and I don’t mind except I wish for clearer nights to see the same skies and stars I’ve grown up with. But the motions of the winds, clouds, and celestial objects are out of my control, and there’s some comfort in not having that responsibility.

I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. For January, for the new year, for the going on of a life.

Never quite what I want, always a bit more, a bit less. In the end, I guess it plays out just right.

I’m still nervous though.